March 8, 2013
******** On Repeat – A steady humming by the big black box
******** Famous Last Words – “I was tired of looking old and fat and ugly, so I ordered [weight loss system name].” I hate to be the one to tell you this, guy, but you still look old and ugly.
(Boy, how I have missed staring mindlessly at what daytime television has to offer to the ailing).
******** A Word From The Unwise – This unwise soul is currently being invaded by an infectious agent. Please seek advice elsewhere. Send help back if possible.
******** Daily Gripe – Stay tuned for the next installment of the Daily Gripe when……
******** Randomness – The Ailing
Welcome to Lysol Haven. Can I interest you in a tiny, red round pill or maybe this white & green one squarish looking? I also have a pretty blue-green liquid capsule I can offer you. -Oh, you will take all of them? No, problem. And how about this yellow/white colored capsule I found stashed for a rainy day, for good measure.
Here, have a seat. OK, so you prefer to lay down instead, I see. I will get you one of those plastic sticks with pretty numbers at the end to place under your tongue. While you wait for the incessant beeping to emanate from the stick in your mouth, my daughter will bring you a heating pad to rest your weary muscles on from your long travels done Viral Lane.
Come, stare at the bright light that talks relentlessly about how old, fat and ugly we are and how much we want to eat fattening food served by pretty models. Eventually all of this will hopefully lull you into a deep, restless sleep.
******** R.I.F.- Who can read with a foggy head
**Daily Math Word Problems**
Math in any form? HA! I am lucky I that can still formulate words at this point.