April 27, 2013

******** On Repeat – True To Myself by Ziggy Marley

******** Famous Last Words –“Do you know what “Pato” means?  It means “faggot”. I can’t tell you his real name though.” -Nick, saying one of the random crazy things he does

******** A Word From The Unwise – Someone once told me that a woman should never care more for a man than he cares for her. I never understood…until now.

******** Daily Gripe – Racism, Alive and….

Being with someone from a different racial group than myself, it is amazing (in a grotesquely sickening way) how much more a racism visual I get on a daily basis. Simply going to a place where a group is supposed to serve and protect a community, the racial prejudice behavior is there.

Prejudice Plight Situation #1) Person from one racial group, walks into a police precinct, to get necessary documents in order to file lost plates with Department of Motor Vehicles. Person is given the runaround by someone of a different race, and then turned away.

Same person, walks into the same precinct, a few days later after going back to the Department of Motor Vehicles and confirming that report for lost plates must be filed through the police department, accompanied by a person of like skin color to the person who originally failed to assist to completion; request not only handled by original person, but taken care of with little to no conversation necessary.

Maybe the person behind the desk suspected this second visit of being an integrity check. In any case, what is the difference? No additional information was provided. Why couldn’t the person do their job the first time? I can only truly think of one reason behind the original runaround and I am disgusted. And we have the nerve to call ourselves America.

******** Randomness – A Magic Carpet Ride

That metaphorical rug, that lays waiting to be ripped out from under each and every one of us at any given moment.  For me, the feeling of inevitability has been closely approaching lately.  This has happened just a few times in my life, when I have allowed myself to accept true happiness into my life, finally believing I am worthy of some amazing experience I am having and that I deserve more than I had previously allowed for myself.  Other times, as I hold back some reserve, not believing I am worthy of complete happiness, I am holding the other end of the rug, tugging back to steady myself in preparation of life’s turn at the reins on the loose frays of the rug.

But when the heart is in control, apparently I have let go of my end completely.  The feeling is very unnerving. It leaves a sick feeling in my stomach. Some would say I am being pessimistic.  I say I am being realistic, knowing my life and believing in Karma and reincarnation, and that leads me to believe in Fatalism as well. The inevitability of what always will be in this lifetime, no matter what future choices I make.  My life, previously mapped out by a past life’s choices.

As I try to focus my mind on living in the moment, a sickness in my stomach reminds me of what the future has in store. What do you when fate and your heart are ticking time bombs, working for opposing teams?  Being who I am and who he is, the heart will rule and allow fate to take its course, to the future detriment of my psyche. Sometimes chances have to be taken in order to grow as a person. Maybe that is the only thing that life is supposed to be about. Not what we make out of this life, but what it makes out of us.


******** R.I.F

**Daily Math Word Problems**